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Ray Reagan and the RayGuns by Ray Reagan and the RayGuns (PUMF 651, 2010 - click to buy)

   Tracklist:
1 Little Purple Children
2 The Warm Stripe
3 Salt and Pepper
4 Dopamine
5 Radio Broadcasting
6 Gestalt
7 Big Business
8 A Sermon on Account
9 Slave to the Machine
10 The Balance
11 The Stone

 - Review by Lawrence Burton, thefatoldman.blogspot, 2017
You may recall pStan Batcow from such acts as Howl in the Typewriter, Ceramic Hobs, Blunt Instrument, and the Def-A-Kators, but if not, here's another unfamiliar pie in which he's had fingers, a band which played gigs, garnered fancy-pants record company interest, and accordingly went into the studio at some point during the eighties; at which point the tale fizzles into either thin air or is absorbed into one of the other four-million bands in which the Batcow has been involved over the years. The story behind this collection is that it comprises those studio recordings, arguably those vintage studio recordings, dug out of a box in the attic and finally whipped into some sort of shape.
I have to admit, upon first listen it sounded a lot like just another Pumf record. pStan has a fairly distinctive sound and songwriting style, which I suppose can be a hindrance as much as a recommendation; but the strengths of the album really begin to come through after a couple of spins, once it's obvious that this isn't quite just another Pumf release. I think the point at which it clicked for me was where I suddenly realised how much Ray Reagan & the Rayguns remind me of Hawkwind - particularly on the chugging Dopamine, although a faintly crusty festival vibe informs the enterprise as a whole. I'd say it reminds me of the Levellers in places, except I never liked the Levellers, and this is better, and presumably predates them by a couple of years; which seems particularly pronounced on Salt And Pepper, a thoroughly breezy account of getting raided by the pigs, country tinged, and so fucking catchy you'd swear you'd heard it somewhere before.
After about the fifth play it occurs to me that this might even be the best thing ever released on the Pumf label. It seems to represent all the strengths of those involved, not least being pStan Batcow as Ray Reagan, woven into something much bigger than the sum of its bits, and which doesn't quite sound like anything else after all. It's of its time, I suppose, with touches of pub rock and maybe the Stranglers somewhere in there, and even passages of cod reggae which manage to not sound fucking ridiculous; and there's a wonderful Hammond organ, or something of that kind. With a bigger, more expensive production - maybe from Clive Langer or whoever it was used to work on those Elvis Costello albums - this could have been massive, which I suppose potentially makes it a lost classic.
I sometimes wonder if pStan Batcow doesn't release too much, spreading himself too thin in certain respects, so it's nice to be reminded of what he can come up with when he's firing on all four cylinders.

 - Review by Richard Foster, Incendiary, September 2010
Social punk at its best? I’d certainly think so. This LP has lain hidden in some grimy basement for nearly 30 years until given a release by the marvellous Pumf Records. It’s an interesting, occasionally very funny release; set over a swampy mash up of then-current musical styles and attitudes, all tinged with an acid-head outlook. (And some of the synths are very hippy it must be said). To say that this record is a faithful chronicle of alternative life in the eighties is something I’m less certain of stating, but for sure it’s a personal one; vivid, and empirical as well as often being a banner for standard punk concerns. I’m sure they liked Crass.
This is an eccentric record too; for all the addressing of “classic” issues such as being busted by the fuzz in Salt and Pepper, you get the feeling that the band truly lived in a twilight zone of their own making. Check out Dopamine; it’s that little bit mental . . . Opener Little Purple Children and Big Business are mid-tempo rants, coming on like a concerned neighbour tutting over the wall at some infant misdemeanour (is the system that gets it in the neck most, at all times). And what on earth is going on in tracks like The Warm Stripe, A Sermon on Account and Radio Broadcasting?
It seems that the rules, the accepted conventions about how to write songs, the lyrics . . . are often that little bit intense and based on ignoring the outside world. In some weird way it’s a very straight take on the Residents’ attitude (without any of the strange outer space noises); in a word, obsessive. Though stylistically it can be a very conventional folk-punk record: Salt and Pepper sounds like with a drugged Wonder Stuff starring Will Sergeant on guitar. And there’s the obligatory dubby skank (Gestalt), which veers off into some lo-fi scuzzy workout at times.
Whatever this record is, it’s a real charmer, and made by decent people.

 - Review by Robin Duke, Evening Gazette, August 2010
As cult bands go, this one must be up there with the greats. Pretty much unknown in the late 70s / early 80s this re-mastered album has come about after Reagan found the mastertape 'in my attic when I was clearing out some rubbish'. Surprisingly it's pretty good - a mish mash of post punk, ska and even psychedelia - though he can't remember much about it.

"Ray Reagan sounds extremely original . . . a lost classic! . . . would've bought it then if it existed. Read the whole inlay . . . some sounds very familiar! Thumbs up for releasing this!"
- Lord Litter, in a personal e-mail to pStan Batcow, 1st September 2010

 - Review by Andrew Truth, July 2010
House owners will be familiar with the experience of the long overdue attic clearout. The process generally reveals junk such as old toys and faulty electrical appliances that ought to have been disposed of 20 years ago. In Ray Reagan’s case, it has allowed him to rediscover the master tapes to his long forgotten album which is at worst a curiosity and at best a minor treasure.
As the name suggests, Ray Reagan and the Rayguns were a late 1970s / early 1980s punk influenced band that, until now, was not even a footnote in history. Some of their themes do seem as dated and irrelevant as mohicans. Radio Broadcasting bemoans the airing of “endless crap” but now the information or music would be found elsewhere so that dull radio stations can be easily ignored. Gestalt is the token cod reggae track with ganja references of which punk bands were so fond yet it does feature an unexpected baroque break.
This playfulness makes the record interesting. Little Purple Children earnestly condemns the teaching of conformity and cruelty at school. Salt and Pepper is not a misspelt anticipation of the pop rappers but a reference to police brutality. Yet sandwiched in between these tracks, The Warm Stripe comes over all Monty Pythons with its complaints about “croutons in my soup”. There is a nuance to their worldview, so while Big Business reflects that time is more important than money and Ray cannot imagine working for a living there is an important one-word proviso, “full-time”.
Musically, the best tracks are propelled by Alla Narova’s bass. It is fuzzy, dirty and dynamic on Dopamine which matches the feeling of “chemical attraction” mentioned in the song. This ought to have been their big indie chart hit. Similarly, the scampering bass style gives A Sermon on Account and Slave to the Machine an impressive velocity. Closing track, The Stone, almost seems to be mirroring the band falling apart and trying to cram all their remaining ideas into one song: backward masking, theremin, whistling, changing The Who’s Squeezebox to “cheesebox” and including mentions of brie. Unfortunately, they have either anticipated or utilised one of the most annoying aspects of the CD era, the hidden extra track.
Ray Reagan and the Rayguns are definitely preferable to senile ex-American presidents.

"Ray Reagan and the RayGuns was excellent, it made me think of the following things - Chaos Theory and the Mandelbrot set. Mathematically inclined biologists puzzling the strange geometry of nature whilst rafting up the Orinoco river. Lynsey de Paul lingering briefly in various empty launderettes and massage parlours clutching a copy of 'Here Come the Warm Jets' by Brian Eno. Remembering a period in 1973 when I slept in a rabbit hutch for 3 months."
 - Dr. Adolf Steg

Texas Redneck with a Big Cock by The Def-A-Kators (PUMF 616, 2009 - click to buy)

If, for whatever warped, twisted reason, you feel the need to check out more about the Def-A-Kators, an extensive history can be found at www.templeofdin.co.uk.

   Tracklist:
1 Blitzen
2 Spahn Ranch Hand
3 Ponk Ist Dood
4 Deliverance
5 Ish
6 Cumulo Nimbus
7 Throwback
8 Impaler
9 A Bedtime Story For Mechanical Owls

11 Gulag
12 Object
13 P. 118
14 Shaft 27
15 Window
16 Scurvy
17 Object (dub mix)

19 untitled, undated
20 Before The Riot
21 breakbeat – 11th March, 1997
22 untitled – 22nd October, 1996
23 untitled – 24th March, 1997
24 Vincent’s Train
25 untitled – 23rd June, 1997
26 breakbeat – 28th April, 1997
27 After The Riot

 - Review by Alistair Lawrence, Kerrang!, August 2009
BLACKPOOL PUNK ROCK MENTALISTS GET EXPERIMENTAL
Apparently, this album took the Def-A-Kators 12 years to release. As you might imagine, musical styles have shifted like the tides in that time, so it's through some minor miracle that, er, Texas Redneck with a Big Cock doesn't sound entirely out at sea. Its occasional psychedelic bent suggests its creators were listening to a lot of Queens Of The Stone Age when Josh Homme's troupe were in their prime. The rest of their sound recalls old school, embryonic pop-punk of the late 70's and 80's. At 27 tracks it's an exhausting listen, but there are bright spots of wit and invention. [Best track]: Ponk Ist Dood.

 - Review by Richard Foster, Incendiary
Incendiary’s LP of the month? Not far off and believe me there’s some strong competition. Strictly speaking this is the best non-released LP of 1996-98, as the tracks all date back to that time. Now, how to describe it . . . This is alien rock in extremis, (albeit accessible to the point of it being slightly cartoony). Nothing here is being created from an acceptance of anything at all, when placed against even acceptable and credible “independent” music The Def-A-Kators’ LP might as well come from another dimension.
As with all Pumf releases there’s hyperactive, questioning air to the music, music that sometimes wanders into surreal subject matter. Ponk Ist Dood seems to be about shitting on cars as a form of sexual release and the gloriously anthemic A Bedtime Story for Mechanical Owls is some sort of tribute to the Clangers. I think.
The “style” is straight-down-the-line rock, almost on the verge of parody, with cod flourishes drawn from Crass to New Order via the Damned; “big” drum/snare sounds, eighties style. And then there’s the question of those horse noises in Deliverance . . . Now and again it has a heavy garage-band Fall vibe (Impaler) or a monstrously overbearing Glam-Goth vibe that veers uncomfortably towards Billy Idol before running off laughing (Gulag). Or even feisty C86 (Object). But that is in some ways to be expected as anything out of the Pumf stable seems to enjoy monstrous sonic notions . . .
As I write this, the press marks the passing of director John Hughes, whose soundtracks were so celebrated at the time for their use of independent music . . . Now imagine, in a parallel, slightly more warped universe, Texas Redneck with a Big Cock would be the soundtrack LP for the Breakfast Club. Think on.

"TEXAS REDNECK WITH A BIG COCK - Yes, you did read correctly . . . The Def-A-Kators have been in existence since 1986, originally forming "in order to parody the mindless idiocy that most punk bands of the time were displaying, hence the name, one chord thrash & mindless lyrics"! The new album Texas Redneck with a Big Cock, was recorded in part, back in the nineties when the band first reformed. Another decade on, the album is finally finished and gets a release through the excellent Pumf Records, a truly unique label. Do not miss out on this album . . . as an added bonus it will only cost you a fiver!"
 - album of the week, August 14th 2009, StarshipOverflow.com

 - Review (of the 1996 recordings) by Robin Duke, Evening Gazette, 1996
Blackpool alternative rock trio Def-A-Kators have released a debut three track promotional cassette in the hopes of breaking through the cover version mafia. Formed last year the three piece says it is a "kickback against manufactured boy / girl Ben Sherman bands." The members prefer to travel under the disguises of Count Basic, Duke Box and Sergeant Panic but their pedigree stretches back to 'legendary' Blackpool outfits such as Vee VV and Dandelion Adventure. They describe their music as "a guitar-based sonic triumvirate collision of synaptic uberpop designed to stimulate both the head and the foot gland" - which probably explains why bookings are scarcer than hairs on a Hanson member's chest. However, their cassette is a lively slice of what we are missing - particularly the instrumental Scurvy, a cross between Link Wray's cult classic Rumble and the cutting room floor of a Tarantino soundtrack. The other tracks are Object - a punchy road rage tribute - and P.118, a salsa led item as hot as last night's leftover chilli.

 - Review by RM, The Crack
What fresh hell is this? Texas Redneck
We get sent plenty of albums to be reviewed at Crack House. Some cause chirrups of delight, some are just plain terrible, and some don’t even merit a cursory listen.
We’ve never played this album, but it can’t be any good. It’s simply not possible. Entitled Texas Redneck with a Big Cock it comes complete with a sleeve image of a bloke in a ten gallon hat walking along with an oversize cockerel on a piece of rope. Now ignoring the fact that the bloke in the pic is more “cowboy” than “redneck” it’s still a pretty lame “joke”. The infantilism of the whole shabby enterprise was sealed for me however by noting with some distain that the album is by a band called The Def-A-Kators. The Def-A-Kators, for fuck’s sake. Texas Redneck With A Big Cock by The Def-A-Kators and a picture of a cowboy and a huge cockerel. If ever there was a collection of words and images designed not to make you play an album, then here they are. The band image on the back depicts Duke Box (frilly snooker shirt circa 1978), Count Basic (elder statesmen of the hanging-around-Old-Eldon-Square posse) and Sgt. Panic (Mick Hucknell after a hunger-strike wearing an old Nelson Mandela shirt). It’s not a trio that makes you feel any more inclined to slapping this on.

Seven or The Union Won't Wear It by Heffalump Trap (PUMF 595, 2008 - click to buy)

   Tracklist:
1 The Riders Travel Through The Heffalumps
2 The Intransigence Of Stormclouds
3 They Are Rebuilding The City
4 Contrabodacious Flump And Circumference
5 The Cosmic Annihilator

Click here to see images of the band from one of the gigs on the 'No Safe Words or Tea For Alice' tour, 2008.

 - Review by the Melodramatic Monkey
Well, let's face it, in musical terms 2008 was fucking dire. The Fall plodded on with Imperial Wax Solvent (better than their last LP but that's not saying a great deal is it?). Honourable mentions to Portishead, Mark Stewart, Stereolab and 1 or 2 others. So to find the true gem of 2008 you will have to dig a little deeper. Quite a lot deeper in fact. So please be upstanding for Seven or The Union Won't Wear It by Heffalump Trap. Yeah!
The Trap describe themselves as spacedronenoiserock unit which is as good a description as any. Imagine very early Ash Ra Tempel jamming with Einsturzende Neubauten on Mars and you may be slightly close. You will be lulled and feel as though you are about to leave your body, only to be slapped with a percussive attack and then bulldozed with bass. This is fucking great stuff and perhaps the most genuinely psychedelic music I've heard in the last 20 years. Forget the chin-stroking post rock guff, this is the real deal, repetition, slow rising crescendos, planets slowly dying and . . . well you get the picture. Imagine an alternate universe where Ummagumma was made by insane Lancashire types instead of middle class architecture students. You owe it to yourself . . . Get Trapped!

" . . . joyously insane space rockers Heffalump Trap, who come armed with an array of Heath Robinson-like home-made instruments - and their own actual Heffalump Trap / Anyone who enjoyed the home made instruments . . . last year may enjoy checking out Heffalump Trap. They employ similar equipment and feature an actual home-made Heffalump Trap to great effect in their spacey drone-rock stylings."
 - Evening Post, March 7th, 2008

"Percussive heavy instrumental noise-rock"
 - Smart King Dan

for the kids in Nigeria by Hedgehog in Bracken (PUMF 574, 2007 - click to buy)

   Tracklist:
1 The Fast Food Song
    Reach For The Stars
    Lucky
2 Teenage Kicks
    When You Say Nothing At All
3 Twist And Shout
    Help
    Blackbird
4 Grand Finale
    (including the giving-out of crumbly flaky chocolate)

"I watched the audience carefully, and only about half of them got it. The rest were a bit confused. Enjoyed the chocolate though; thanks."
 - The promoter of the gig where this was recorded

Wrack and Roll by Blunt Instrument (PUMF 434, 2003 - click to buy)

   Tracklist:
1 Goin' up to Moscow
2 "But, as Bitch Alice wrote:"
3 A Song About Flowers
4 Tomorrow Is the Day
5 The Learned One
6 Jack and Jackie
7 Hail to the Chiefs
8 Cause Trouble
9 "Electric harmonies, strangely gentle, drifted out to the distant ring of trees and came humming back to her."
10 Goin' up to Moscow
11 House on the Hill
12 The Learned One
13 "The band crashed into an atonal song:" Virgin Howitzer
14 Kansas Kuntry Klub
15 Wooden Horse
16 Bonzo's Blood
17 Waking Up with Godzilla
18 Last Blast
19 Domestic Surveillance
20 Pure-Eth-Chevy-Nuclear-Blast-Over-Kansas-City Blues
21 Vampire Picnic
22 Waiting for the Walrus
23 Under the Monument
24 Get Your Own Damn Tomato Juice
25 Prometheus Plays with Matches
26 Different Schools
27 Race You to Hell
28 Race You to Hell
29 Take Back the Garden
30 "Coda"

Click here to read a brief interview on Rockshelf website, 'a collection of novels about popular music'.

 - Review by Dave W, Modern Dance, 2003
Thirty tracks make up this curio from Pumf, and whilst it will take a lot to beat Howl in the Typewriter . . . Wrack and Roll is still a lot of fun. Tracks like A Song About Flowers, Tomorrow Is The Day, Hail To The Chiefs, Track Nine and quite a few others all have a certain lo-fi, low production and 'demo' quality about them, yet are incredibly good. I love the way that some of the tracks use 'found' sounds; the radio, audience applause etc., which gives an added something. Many will say that the album isn't exactly in the running for mass media attention, it's a perfect example of simply getting up there and having a go. There is a certain amount of spontaneity that comes across with many of the songs. Hell, it's an album to put a smile on your face.

 - Review by Chris Sienko, Migidum Bligablum, 2003
. . . new band called Blunt Instrument. It's just two guys . . . They play this sort of electronically enhanced rock / pop / artrock / artpop / electro hybrid that I can't quite describe. [sleeve] notes seem to indicate that the lyrics came from some sort of '30s / '40s / '60s anti-war songs (or songs about the war effort at the time) and other such concerns. All very confusing and illuminating, but in that way that makes me want to go check it out one more time. I love the riffs, there's some real knockout, drag-out, hook heavy tunes that have stuck with me. While I'm convinced that Simon is one of the best rock n' roll growlers of our time, this fellow Stan definitely shows off some fine vocal skills himself, more in a soulful vein . . .

"This is wonderful stuff. At best, it's well-constructed pop (in the same way that Pretty Vacant is well-constructed pop). Clever pop. It's kind of punk, as well, but more like American punk than UK punk - there are elements of Dead Kennedys in bits of Burn Baby Burn and the 'Ooh baby' track.
It's kind of camp and stylised, like the best US bands - lots of stolen spy-movie riffs. I'd have to mention Devo, Black Sabbath and the Macc Lads, which paints a lovely picture of the band - robotic drug-casualties from 'Oop North'. (The album)'s got great slidey guitar on it - I really think pStan should be guitar player for the Residents (thought who's to say he isn't?). This is an excellent bunch of songs, and all good enough that I think it has 'commercial' potential - I could imagine these tracks on the radio, and I could imagine loads of 'disaffected youth' out there who would buy an LP of this . . . right now - I'm your NUMBER ONE FAN."
 - Stream Angel

". . . the wrack n roll cd - got it the other day and I like it. Reminds me a bit of Nick Cave and perhaps Julian Cope but . . . kinda like they were having a fight in a sausage factory. I don't really think it's that much more 'commercial' . . . I'd say it's probably more 'accessible' . . . But still only as accessible as a wheelchair ramp with a police stinger on it."
 - Andy Paciorek

". . . its got a sort of Beefheart feel."
 - John Tree

"It is on heavy rotation on my CD player. I love the way the songs sound new but strangely familiar."
 - Phil Smith

"Hmmm. Good CD here, this Wrack and Roll. It may be a wanky thing to say but it's really well produced – doesn't have that 'oh – a drum machine and cubase' sound to it. Reminds me of Cockney Rebel and Guns 'n' Roses (well a bit) for some reason. It's also nice to hear “song” songs that don't make me cringe."
 - Lawrence Burton

it was a foot! by Michael Aspel's Flying Saucers (PUMF 371, 2002 - click to buy)

   Tracklist:
1 They are Out There
2 There! (a new cult)
3 “There was this Large Orb . . .”
4 There at Kaikoura
5 Kaikoura, Away from There
6 I was There
7 Product Development
8 Another One of the Two Gents
9 Children Suck

"Dense and impenetrable, this album left me dazed and bewildered. Subject matter veers from an oblique look at the dangers of drink-driving, to product development, to a lengthy piece designed to induce post-hypnotic hatred of children - I'm convinced that my mindset is radically different after listening to this, and I'm waiting for the subliminal trigger that sees me exploding in an orgy of miasmic rage, slaughtering any children in the immediate vicinity. On the bonus side, however, I'm now a firm believer in extra-terrestrial life."
 - Lawrence Burton

Rorschach Ink Blot Testing by Rrrrrrr (PUMF 301, 1998 - click to buy)

   Tracklist:
1 Retentive-anal schoolboy (loves his mother)
2 rhetoric
3 Rasputin
4 random
5 Rudiments of wisdom
6 revenge
7 Relative to rhythm
8 rambling
9 Rogering reality
10 respect!
11 Ray Jenkinson's hovering triangle
12 razil(B)
13 Remembering golden days
14 regrets
15 Really real
16 right?
17 Respectabilia, paedophilia

 - Review by War Arrow, The Sound Projector #10, 2002
Not a Japanese gentleman screaming about women’s knickers over a wall of feedback, as the name of the band would seem to suggest. This is in fact a postal collaboration between Stan Batcow and Andy Boot. It’s a bit lo-fi, but not so much as to make an ironic virtue of the fact. It sounds like the authors spent a fair bit of time and energy working on bits of each other’s music, and that energy shows. This is broad experimentation, just seeing what the other participant is going to throw back, and as such spans a schizophrenic range of moods and styles as each compensates or messes with the others diverse offerings. We go through bubbling techno to er . . . stadium folk to tape collage and back all chopped up with peculiar snatches of spoken word. What is communicated most vividly by this cassette is the sheer excitement that the Rrrrrrr boys must have felt waiting to see what would come out the other end of their musical sausage machine. The sense of the unexpected is strong - not to mention witty - without it all sounding like hopeless indulgence that could only possibly resonate with those directly involved. Back in the “good old days” there was a hardcore of people who only listened to home-produced tapes such as this. It might seem a little eccentric and peculiar but if you listen to this cassette and then see ask yourself how many records from 1986 (for example) you couldn’t live without - you’ll find it ain’t such a crazy notion after all.

"I find it puzzling; I can't make up my mind about it. How I feel about it seems to vary, perhaps according to my own mood. Sometimes I listen to it and it seems like an incredible 'out there' wild punk version of the best and most hilarious dashes of Nurse with Wound - a masterpiece of caveman 'head' music. Then other times I listen to it, it just seems drab and depressing. Well, the truth must be that neither of these viewpoints is truly accurate, and the truth must be somewhere else . . . but where?"
 - Stream Angel

Homunculus Construction in 42 Easy Lessons by Job Finder & the Mental Cruelty (PUMF 294, 1997 - click to buy)

This is the third album in a trilogy, where the only change was a different artiste name each time .
See also Jahrizlafoureye & the Heady Bread Beast (PUMF 210) and Judge Mental & the Heavy Dread Beat (PUMF 154).

   Tracklist:
1 Fated Chalice
2 Blunderbuss
3 Harp-on Valley P.C.P.
4 Nasty Sting (for Roger C.)
5 Devour the Flesh of Ages
6 Devil Man Killer, 666 Slayer, Iron Maiden
7 Peace found on Rossall Promenade, July 1996
8 Think Once, Think Twice, Think Bike
9 Welcome to Telewest High
10 Interview with N.U.S. Womens' Officer
11 The Nonce
12 Vicker-Forecast Anthem
13 Desolate Rainswept Continuum of Dark Things
14 A Heavy Night down the Dinmore
15 Rabbit Punch in the Pigeon Chest
16 The Plump Mellow Yellow Smellow Melons other Rump
17 "My Friendship with Kieran ended when he showed me his Ringpiece"
18 Popacatapetl was an Acidhead
19 The Deaf Ear Hears All
20 My Mother-in-Law's so Fat etc.
21 So was Quetzalcoatl
22 Dink-a Dink-a Doo (Frinkleheimer Chip)
23 Brain Reeling from Eidetic Sexual Images outside Food Giant
24 Beware the Violet Realms
25 Fry-up (Jack da House)
26 (You the Listener are an) Effete Knicker-sniffing Nancy
27 Twinkly Yellow Newcastle Lights
28 By the Fireside (Ooh Yeah Baby)
29 Grazing Robots, Spiral Tongues
30 Jung when Stoned - Neoteny Sober
31 Tekeli-li Yog Sothoth in your Face
32 We'll have you Pissing out of Tubes
33 Revenge is not the Password
34 Moan of Muck
35 Ripcord, Heresy, Concrete Sox - Fuckin' Sellouts!
36 Deviation, Hesitation, Repetition
37 Scum's the Word (P.S. I Love You)
38 Hold Back Time
39 Dedicated to Roving Robo
40 Terminal 84 Irby (Griff = Death)
41 Hci wouldn't be too sure about that!
42 Music to Glop to

 - Review by Dddd, 1998
Dozens of plentifully brief tracks recorded last year, the sample repeated until you can do it in the dark, everything nicked from Jingle Bells to that terriffff riffff at the end of the Pentium Processor TV ads - yeah, I once did a 45-min tape with just that, gets kinda bludgeoningly sexual towards the end.
Yep, these rude raps do deserve a wider audience - double figures at least, they're highly distracting, lyrics crafted with love, they're like John Cooper Clarke fronting Keith Levine and those other PiL drop-outs, but if only Job Finder could've been discovered by Martin Hannett before he died, units might well have shifted.

 - Review by Chris Sienko, Muckraker, 2000
From the opening Casio blasts and absurd high pitched backing vocalists on the tape-opening Fated Chalice . . . these 42 rap songs are absurd in the time-honoured tradition of the country that gave us The Goon Show, Dogliveroil and Roger Moore. One song describes highs the band members have received by smoking various members of the animal kingdom, leading me to wonder if Job Finder & the Mental Cruelty have been exchanging horror stories with Graham 'I hate Vermin' Lambkin. Others have titles like Rabbit Punch in the Pigeon Chest, Popacatapetl was an Acidhead, and everyone's favourite, (You the Listener Are an) Effette Knicker-Sniffing Nancy. Nearly all of them move along at such a clip that it's almost impossible to tell what the hell they're talking about. I wish I still owned a car, I'd blast this out of my speakers on the hottest day of every summer.

Blessed is the Norm - Watch thou for the Mutant by Gravelin (PUMF 287, 1997 - click to buy)

This is the third album in a trilogy of recordings spanning some twelve years, with the only constant being Stan Batcow.
Other musicians, lyricists, collaborators etc. drifted, satellite-like, in and out of the recording environment at whim.
See also Troll (PUMF 112) and BILE! (PUMF 56).

   Tracklist:
1 White Trash
2 Art Direction
3 Leisuredeath
4 Eyewitness Falklands
5 Crawl
6 Flamboyance
7 A Study of Urban Paranoia
8 These Boots are made for Walking
9 Trendsetter
10 Walk like a Pedestrian
11 Small Insect
12 My Life
13 Tickertape
14 It's all Very Clever
15 What's ya Secret
16 Cluedo
17 Mind Soup

"Wow, I like this bit! Classic 60's chord progressions - sort of 'go-go' music with a sampled voice. Wowser - it could be the theme for a movie - 'Blackpool Topless' . . . standing on top of the Tower of Babel and words spew forth to turn into beautiful gibberish in mid-air. Solid backing - solid as a soul sandwich. It's beautiful! Lots of real 'reggae-heads' and 'dub' fans would probably freak out at this, though - the manicness of the vocals. This is full of buoyancy, vim and vigour. Great fun too."
 - Stream Angel

Pet Sounds by Blackpool Beach Boys and Girl (PUMF 224, 1995 - click to buy)

   Tracklist:
1 Wouldn't it be nice
2 You still believe in me
3 That's not me
4 Don't talk (put your head on my shoulder)
5 I'm waiting for the day
6 Let's go away for a while
7 Sloop John B
8 God only knows
9 I know there's an answer
10 Here today
11 I just wasn't made for these times
12 Pet sounds
13 Caroline No
14 Pet sounds revisited

Lizzy Basra was a part of this ambitious project, working on a cover version of an entire album. This is possibly the only official release of work featuring her, and it is in some way dedicated to her memory. (16/11/68 - 27/3/96)

Grab yr. Balaclavas and let’s go! by Jahrizlafoureye & the Heady Bread Beast (PUMF 210, 1993 - click to buy)

This is the second album in a trilogy, where the only change was a different artiste name each time .
See also Job Finder & the Mental Cruelty (PUMF 294) and Judge Mental & the Heavy Dread Beat (PUMF 154).

   Tracklist:
1 Tools of red herrings
2 Crap on a grand scale
3 Doughnut rap
4 Whip up a poultice
5 Mean as a wasp
6 Texan Spill barmy army
7 Manson death trip
8 What an empty generation
9 (Seedy) Lotion brain
10 Cough and wobble
11 (I'm not) Paranoid
12 Me and my bum, chum
13 Here's to your fuck
14 In the name of Allah
15 Violet Perry blues
16 Fly me to the moon
17 Oral death camp
18 Bpool combat skins kill Madeley softies
19 Sleepy nose
20 Shooting guns (what a crap title)
21 Fries to go
22 Rancid bacon sick marmalade
23 Ebeneezer Badde
24 Elvis lives
25 Ali Akabar - God is great
26 Dedicated to Sam Peckinpah
27 Tough times for the 17th century aristocracy
28 F. G. Martin's pink love sausage
29 Stumped me there
30 In memoriam of the stand-up comedians rehearsal room
31 Allergic to lies
32 LPs. the Key's to. Given!
33 I have not stopped water where it should flow
34 The old cheb went futt (and did what you know)
35 Commodious vicus of recirculation
36 Coloured flowers
37 The saddest words in english are "if only"
38 Mindfuck

 - Review by Plane Truth #11, 1993
The Bernard Manning of rap! To be fair, a decent quota of laughs can be had from Jah's ludicrously insular tales; people he met at a Bikini Kill / Huggy Bear gig, abuse of the Ablaze! editorial team, outrageous claims of sexual perversions, beer drinking, tab smoking. All backed by the cheapest sounding casio used with oodles of imagination.

 - Review by Dddd, 1998
[This album] has the same talents, the same ideas [as the Job Finder album], this one's from five years ago and it feels less various and varied. Nicest of all about these tapes is that you can't concentrate on anything else while they're playing - much wisdom going around those young spools - 'the more you consume, the less you live' - VERY VERY VITALLY TRUE.

We’re on a Round Robin to Hell by The Def-A-Kators (PUMF 189, 1993 - click to buy)

   Tracklist:
1 War's a Bore
2 (Every friday evening I go out) Watching Dogs
3 I wanna be yr. Hamster
4 Satan's in my Telly
5 (We're all wearing) Red Underpants
6 (I'm only happy when I'm) Killing my Grandma
7 Grandma's Revenge
8 Aquaplane
9 Punky Town
10 Theme
11 Headache (Parts 1 & 2)
12 1234!

 - Review by Robin Duke, Evening Gazette, 1987
The much talked about but rarely seen Blackpool post-punk band the Def-A-Kators have finally got their act together in the shape of an eponymous promotional cassette. The four members have the unlikely names of Count Basic, Duke Box, Lew Siffer and Sgt Panic whilst the four tracks released onto the general public rejoice in the titles War's a Bore, Satan's in my Telly, I Wanna be your Hamster and (I'm only happy when I'm) Killing my Grandma. It's not the sort of stuff which will have Mike Smith reaching for his tape deck but even the likes of John Peel would be hard pushed to hear everything that is going on in what the band itself describes as 'a cross between Phil Spector's "Wall of Sound" and the late lamented Voidoids in a Motorway pile-up'. There are some interesting (if not exactly earth stoppingly original) ideas here but the quality of the recording (is it really the Temple of Din Recording Studios or simply someone's garage?) hides many of them under blur, distortion and general tape hiss. Perhaps that's what the band means when it describes it music as 'self-explanatory'.

 - Review by New Blood for Young Skulls, 1987
Blackpool's current heroes - you can't fail with song titles such as 'Killing my Grandma'. They have a sound similar to an out-of-tune concrete mixer, they played [live] and left the audience chewing beer glasses.

Talbot Road by Judge Mental & the Heavy Dread Beat (PUMF 154, 1990 - click to buy)

This is the first album in a trilogy, where the only change was a different artiste name each time .
See also Job Finder & the Mental Cruelty (PUMF 294) and Jahrizlafoureye & the Heady Bread Beast (PUMF 210).

   Tracklist:
1 Tony's Rap
2 A Rolling Hulme Speedfreak Gathers No Moss Side Acid Off Stratty
3 Anarcho Hippies With Dogs
4 Hulme Punks Rap
5 White Lightning
6 Rik Tripper
7 Rainbow Jerk Wrap
8 No Score Draw At The Spinners Megastore
9 Fruit Freedom Rap
10 Bastard Rap
11 Just Manchester
12 Rae Tripper
13 Hacienda Void Night
14 Just Preston
15 Human Faces
16 Fuck The World Mad, Driver
17 Bodies And Peanut Butter
18 Dedicated To Mr. Modo
19 Uncle Fred
20 The Orchids
21 Shove It Up Your Nose
22 Daze Of X
23 Fever Moon Vibration
24 Double Of Dutch
25 Tangerine Army
26 Wreck Of The White Star
27 Pop Goes The Anarcho-syndicalist
28 Boot Boys In Auschwitz
29 Gracious!
30 Home And Away
31 Paul Mariner Sticker
32 Lament Configuration
33 Kow Noon Dock
34 Brainfuck

 - Review by Karren Ablaze, Ablaze #7, 1990
At last, the complete collection of the legendary Judge Mental sessions that took place in Blackpool last winter, many of which recorded whilst on weekend leave from the acid casualty amphetamine psychosis ward of Victoria Hospital. Hear tales of eccentrics on the Manchester scene, slices of a dozen different realities and too many personalities in one brain that got scrambled. The music is mostly on keyboards with lots of out-of-step, not quite recognisable samples, and some of it's dead funny. Features such classics as A Rolling Hulme Speedfreak Gathers No Moss Side Acid Off Stratty and the very scary Double of Dutch. . . 'teaching the kids to learn how to skip / here we go for another bad trip'? The last track is a thoughtful medley of bits of other raps that tells a tale with a definite moral. Roll out the cats . . .

 - Review by War Arrow, The Sound Projector #8 , 2000
This could be Stan under an assumed name, but I couldn't say for certain. It's hip-hop of sorts, although purists would doubtlessly sneer, which isn't to say it is without merits of its own. The music is pretty sparse: a drum machine and the odd sample, or bit of guitar, or bass riff added as garnish. The voice of Judge Mental, which is kind of reedy and northern, isn't ginormously well suited to rapping, but I don't think its owner is too bothered. More than any other musical genre, excepting possibly avant-garde field recordings of firearms, hip-hop lends itself well to expressing one's belief in the twattiness of others. Which is perhaps why the author, possessed by a desire to point fingers, name names, and speak out against arseholes, was drawn to the genre. The rhyming owes more to those old punk rock songs that follow something ending in 'it' with 'but I think it's a load of shit.' For all this, it's fairly entertaining stuff.
Whoever did Talbot Road has clearly encountered a lot of numbskulls in his time, and the majority of them seem to get a mention here. Most will only seem familiar if you've encountered someone similar, but a few better known journo types get called out. Okay so 'I'm a total fucking nob, I talk a lot of rubbish with my big bloody gob, I laugh a lot because I like to think I'm funny, and I'll do nearly anything for the money' - Canibus and Ras Kass are probably not shitting themselves, but it still does its job, and after sixty minutes of the same, the cumulative effect is more impressive than you might initially think. Imagine a less fluent, more sweary nephew of Mark E. Smith who's just been weaned off Hellbastard and onto the first Beasties album, and is so pissed off with the large quantity of fuckwits in his life that he can't wait for the studio time and has just gone ahead and done it all on a home stereo. Although it isn't all one big long beef-raising session, most of it is, punctuated by the odd spot of weirdness like 'Fifteen minutes at gas mark seven, you take them out and the taste is heaven, I like a nice hard dick between my lips, but even better is some oven chips.' Probably the oddest track is a straight cover of Psychic TV's 'The Orchids, which, ignoring the fact that it's rough-arsed DIY, improves greatly on the original, not least because of its being one stage removed from the involvement of old boiled-egg eyes.
Talbot Road should be unlistenable crap, but somehow it isn't. In fact it is entirely without dull moments. I doubt any hip-hop addicts are really going to warm to this stuff, but then as someone who even wonders about buying the odd Ja Rule or Drag On elpee just in case there's a nice Swizz Beats or DMX guest spot on there - which probably qualifies me as an addict - I'd still listen to this before Noreaga, Arrested Development, Lauryn Hill, or any of those other useless arseholes that claim to be the real thing.

Cheesecake and Chips by Troll (PUMF 112, 1988 - click to buy)

This is the second album in a trilogy of recordings spanning some twelve years, with the only constant being Stan Batcow.
Other musicians, lyricists, collaborators etc. drifted, satellite-like, in and out of the recording environment at whim.
See also Gravelin (PUMF 287) and BILE! (PUMF 56).

   Tracklist:
1 Tonsil Thief
2 Culprit
3 An Apple & Some Crumpets
4 Oh No (Mad Mix)
5 Sundial
6 What's Orange and Round?
7 Apache
8 Your Door in Here is Locked
9 Streams Of Angels
10 Fear
11 Tonsil Thief (Cough Mix)
12 The Teaspoon Song
13 Ecstasy in Scarlet
14 Cold Feet
15 Istanbul
16 Jaw Meal Terror One
17 Pet Shop
18 Death Grant

The Amazing Ron Brewer - Donkey Man by Barbara Dwyer (PUMF 91, 1987 - click to buy)

   Tracklist:
1 Mormon Religion
2 Hey Lawman What Gives
3 Next To The Main Road
4 Monk's Elbow
5 These Cats Can Swing
6 I Desire
7 Vicar's Wife's Hairpin's Superstition
8 Potty London Bus
9 Egyptian Lanterns

"After the resounding success of the debut 6-part Barbara Dwyer concept piece released as part of the BILE! recordings, Gerry Attric and Hospie Talward teamed up once again with 'Nelson' Batcow to produce this full-length album. Phew. There'd have been no stopping them if they could have been bothered to record anything else again, afterward."
 - Smart King Dan

 - Review by Chris Sienko, Migidum Bligablum, 2003
This may seem like kind of an arbitrary choice [to review] in the Pumf library. I mean, there's still . . . stuff done more recently than 1987 too! Well, what can I say . . . I really like Barbara Dwyer. Actually, I don't know Barbara Dwyer, but some friends I go to the bar with can vouch for her. Anyway, Barbara Dwyer was a one-off project with Stan Batcow and some other pseudonym'd folks. The roots of this project can be heard on the BILE! tape, when it was going to be a band, or something else not as good. Well, it never panned out, but in the interest of keeping the name going, Stan solicited tapes from all participants, and made something different. This tape is a collage of stuff . . . literally, stuff. Refuse. Gems. Bits. Crumbs. Stuff off the TV, people talking and ranting, bands playing or practicing, bits from the movie of the week, noises, whooshes. Y'know, stuff. All grandly and simply edited into a tape that is both listenable and very, very muddy. Like if P16.D4 got really hammered and decided to futz with tapes and home movies instead of culturally 'significant' things. I say hammered / drunk not because this sounds drunken (or poorly constructed), but because it would probably take a night of strong drink to loosen P 16.D4 enough to get them this personal and fun. There's jams, TV shows / game shows / The Three Stooges (it's easy to get wrapped up in a tape of a linear plot, and very easy to disorient with just a few whisks of the editing razor), hot guitar freakouts, a great collage of '30s jazz sounds, some mumbledygook that I couldn't make out near the end of the tape that goes on for a long time, and more. If you give any sort of a shit about getting C60s in the mail that make you want to root through your own home tape recordings and stitch a few of'em together, Frankenstein-style (or even send them off to Stan for a collabo), you should get on this one.

It’s Now or Never! by BILE! (PUMF 56, 1986 - click to buy)

This is the first album in a trilogy of recordings spanning some twelve years, with the only constant being Stan Batcow.
Other musicians, lyricists, collaborators etc. drifted, satellite-like, in and out of the recording environment at whim.
See also Gravelin (PUMF 287) and Troll (PUMF 112).

   Tracklist:
1 Barbara Dwyer
    i Slip-ons
    ii Dinner's On The Table
    iii Maloney What?
    iv Haunted House
    v Getting Up Late
    vi Robots In Disguise
2 Staatsfiendlich
3 WC Radio
4 Endomethodology
5 A Friendly Cow
6 The Sun
7 Louie Louie
8 Barbed Snake Fish Thing The Fifth
9 Funky Wonderbean
10 Friendship

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