Stanzine - A'Sex' hat dance

		What is 'Stanzine'? Well, in 1981 I decided to start a music fanzine, and for a fanzine by Stan, what better name than Stanzine? Issue 1 was published in late 1981 or early 1982(?) - and my word, it was dreadful. Issues 2 and 3 followed fairly quickly and got a bit better. By the time issue 4 was ripe the name had grown a bit thin, so I started using subtitles, thusly: Stanzine 4 - Hyperdermic Hedgehog Stanzine 5 - Polychromatic Porcupine Stanzine 6 - A 'Sex' hat dance Stanzine 7 - The Virgin and the Witchdoctor - then from issue 8 it was just called A 'Sex' hat dance. There were 10 issues of the 'zine published between 1982 and 1988, with a print run steadily increasing from 100 copies of issue 1 up to 1000 copies of issues 9 and 10. There was then an 11-year hiatus before publishing 300 copies of issue 11 in 1999 as a tying-up-loose-ends-type-of-thing. The 'zine changed slowly from music-oriented reviews, interviews etc. through to a broader scope including cut-up writing, some 'political' articles, stories, cartoons, poems and general brain-warping surreality. All issues were A5 in size, and there were free A6 booklets given with several issues: Issue 6 'Neither God Nor Master'* Issue 7 'God, We Must Have Been Fools!' / 'My Friend Lisa'* Issue 9 'Bullshit Batcow Comix Inc.' (this one actually A7 in size) Issue 10 'an everyday guide to what you should know about things and stuff' * both of these were written by Shaun Ellis All those little booklets signalled the start of Stanzine Publications' wider activities which - moving away from music-based writings - have included comics, fiction, poetry, art and all manner of intriguing bookthings. Most of them are now available digitally on the main Stanzine page, and some of them are still available to buy as paper copies (which would impress your friends no end if strewn casually on your coffee table!) For historical / posterity / ego-massaging reasons, here are reproductions of some selected pages from the various issues of Stanzine. As the 'zine was topical, relating to bands and events of the time, it seems pointless to reprint the whole lot. The complete Issue 11 is reproduced further down the page, however - and why not? taken from issue 4 - Review by Bastinado, 1983 One pleasant surprise in '82 was the number of new fanzines. The best of the new-comers was Stanzine. After an awful first issue it has improved greatly and is now 4 issues old. taken from issue 6 - Review by Rox #21, 1983 Now what can you say, the latest edition of STANZINE was a killer possibly the best local fanzine to ever emerge from this town, it contained what must be the ultimate Fits article to cap all our feeble efforts. taken from issue 7 - Review by Rox #23, 1984 STANZINE . . . Mad vital energetic tasteless loveable STANZINE . . . One of the three Blackpool fanzines (whatever happened to Ultimate Worm?) Silly irreverent also mad quite mad, there's also plenty to read and the layout I LURVE IT. Stan knows how to entertain the reader, other local fanzine editors could take note of this. taken from issue 8 - Review by NME, 6th April 1985 (A 'Sex' hat dance issue 8) Asks the question, "whatever happened to wonderland?" Then answers it. taken from issue 8 taken from issue 9 - Review by Evening Gazette - October 5, 1985 In the meantime "A Sex Hat Dance" (talking of wally titles) has emerged in its own right / write. Again it's a familiar collection of facts, fantasy, features and more words to the page than most of its contemporaries. It also comes complete with its own little comic booklet - definitely not the sort you'll find in "Beano." taken from issue 9 - Review by New Blood For Young Skulls #2, 1986 A 'Sex' hat dance: I like this rag, it's one of the best around. Stan manages to keep himself far enough away from the crappo band scene, although the best piece he has ever written was about a Breville Toaster. taken from issue 10 - Review by The Walls Come To Life #2, 1986 A 'Sex' hat dance. It's interesting. It's amusing. It's absorbing. Interviews, reviews, articles, poems, what more do you want. Well worth 30p and SAE. taken from issue 10 - Review by The Reaper #1, 1986 Interviews, articles, stories, and more. You'll also get a good laugh so buy it. taken from issue 10 - Review by Sweet and Sour Pop #1, 1986 When is a fanzine not a fanzine?, when it is sex hat dance. A bit like a new puppy. Cuddly and soft but cheeky enough to bite your big toe and piss all over the carpet. taken from issue 10 - Review by Ablaze #6, 1986 A 'Sex' hat dance is Stan's ace zine that doesn't come out very often but when it does you surely know you're in for lots of fun or something similar. In ish 10 there's a conversation with Cyclic Amp, an interview with the legendary Ceramic Hobs, a piece on Michael Jackson, a free booklet about 'things and stuff' as well an great quantities of thought provoking nonsense on subjects like dreams, drugs, sex and a monkey. taken from issue 10 (but here laid out together on one page - these five strips were originally spread throughout the 'zine) - Review by Counter Intelligence, 1995 Indescribably mad mashed up collaged zine, train-of thought monologues, a Ted Nugent gig review, cut-ups, dreams, seven hours in Middlesbrough diary. Looks to me like its been done on Spike Milligan's typewriter. There's a whole slew of other Stan Batcow publications available from the same address.

		This is the reproduction of A 'Sex' hat dance issue 11. It was published in 1999 - a 60 page booklet, 21cm x 15cm in size, full colour cover. - Review by Robots and Electronic Brains, 2000 From the home of the Ceramic Hobs comes this bundle of Dadaist composition - mine with a cheery post-it note reading "Merry Fucking Christmas, You Bastard" - that might help to explain why the Hobs excrete the kind of psychotic caterwauling punk rock noise that they do. A cut-up mish-mash of adverts for outdated appliances, newspaper articles, original (in at least two senses) writing, marijuana propaganda, anti-Christian collages and a Burroughsian scissor-and-glue essay. As is usual, and no doubt intentional in these things, the layout gives no clue as to which juxtapositions are meaningful in the eye of the editor and which are random. This leads to two reading strategies: (1) skip though quickly, say "Hmm, that's nice" and put down, or (2) crawl through slowly looking for the links and creating numerous bogus ones as you go. I've tried each of them and the page that caught my attention both times says "The first thing to remember when you hear voices in your head is not to reply". Make of this what you will. - Review by DDDD #46, 2000 More flirtations with zaniness - nicey-feely colour-cover A5 zine from Stan out of Howl in the Typewriter & this zine's first issue was 17 years ago and this is the first Issue for about ten years = medley of botched hotchpotch messings and doings and clippings and prunings and stories and the usual nonsense you get from people too young to've been in punk first time around but too old to've found anything else in life except CREATIVITY - yeah, Stan's right - Creativity Is All - creativity is the only pathway avoiding the worst turds on this planet of shit. Much of this zine was beyond me, way off in drugged phantasmagorias and stuff which us non-zany non-humourous people find bewildering cos we're not "in" on the joke, but when Stan sobers up and goes for the rant / sense / passion he rocked me to beautiful sobbing-point - lovely stuff e.g. FUCK THE MILLENNIUM and "What's Normal?" and even a rant against the internet . . . HOORAY! There's a reprint of some old 50s thing about how to keep yr husband happy - AMAZING stuff . . . y'no sometimes even us luddites have to admit the world has got better. Twice elsewhere I laffed till the tears pricked the eyes. Yep - started this zine thinking it'd be a quick skim, and finished it ages later in a state of mild awe. - Review by Original Sin #30, 2001 A sexzine??? No, but this comes from the office that brings you The Ceramic Hobs and anyone who is familiar with them will be aware that they opt for something unusual. There isn't that much music in it, it's more a sort of collage from funny articles that they found in old newspapers and mags . . . some stuff is hilarious and then there is stuff from which I don't understand one word, but then again I failed at my university exams so I'm the one to blame! - Review by Muuna Takeena #8, 2002 A 'Sex' Hat Dance #11: Misinformation Manual Stan Batcow is a mysterious and comical fellow. When I first started getting into cassette music (i.e. music that was only released on cassette, you get the picture) one of the first artists I stumbled upon was Howl in the Typewriter, one of Stan's more personal projects. I've been a minor fan of the old kook ever since, and his zines have always been a pleasure. However, I've never found out what the title of this one means . . . perhaps I should just ask him . . . but anyway, it seems that this chunky collage / rant / scrapbook will be the last sex hat dance ever. Stan tells us all about how he started the zine back in 1982 as an angry young punkster, and how disillusion and the press of other projects has led him to abandon the dance. It's kind of sad and kind of joyful, like so much else in our little world. His cynicism is only one thread of the Batcow carpet, so maybe we'll see number 12 one day. This issue is a pile of stuff that Stan has meant to print before, and serves as a tying up of loose ends, of which there would seem to be plenty. This is a mixed bag, ranging from some cool rants and wacky pictures to some fairly pointless stories and collage wank. However, because Stan has such a unique take on things the whole thing makes perfect sense, and gives a perfect image of the comically serious / seriously comical British cheap supermarket underground that we have produced here in our fair and rain-lashed land . . . Stan is the Man, and you are all his babies.